put a sticker on it…

last month my oldest blessing came to the teacher and i with a prayer request. she asked us to prayerfully consider her going back to public school in the fall. gulp. big 7eleven gulp.

we had said from the beginning of our homeschool year that we would take this year by year. we would do what was best for our family. not what was best for the test scores of public schools or not disappointing our homeschool posse. but what was best for us. for the blessings. for my sanity. listen to what God was telling us.

the teacher had many questions for her. originally i thought he would run to the school to sign her up the next day. buy her a sweatshirt and put a sticker on the back of our van to tell the world our kids were smart.not so much. he was more interested in her motives. her heart. her loneliness. listening to her voice her concerns about being alone. not having friends to talk with. not having a regular sport or team to be a part of. that is where it stemmed from. the teacher sat with her and heard her. he heard her heart say she needed more than she was getting. but he also knew that high school wasn’t going fulfill the longing in her heart.

she didn’t want to go to high school. she wanted to be a part of something. she listed all of the things she loved about homeschooling. the reading. the art. the field trips.the serving. the siblings. the time. she also went on to list the reasons she didn’t want to go back. the clicks. the pressure. the subjects she has no passion for. the loneliness.the influences. the lack of family time. the schedule.

as i sat and watched the teacher listen. i was reassured. reassured that we are doing the right thing for our family at this time. we are building into each other. we are listening to each other. we are encouraging each other. we are serving others. we are working through the ugly parts of ourselves. wearing out the selfishness in each other. we are making time for what is really important. we are saying no to many things. and yes to each other. we are putting each other before what the world says we have to be a part of.

she came to us last night. she said she was ready to look for an alternative way to fill the void. she said high school can’t  fill it in her. she feels that she was created for something different. something bigger. me too baby. me too….