Wednesday, October 16, 2013

this is why. (truth about what Christians did in the name of adoption….and why I don’t agree)

I know this topic stirs up controversy in the adoption world. I am not claiming that this is your story. This is our story. But do not think that it doesn’t happen. It happens all the time. And we believe it just makes the problems worse for anyone that comes after you in the adoption process. It only hurts the kids that are left because of our greed and American narcissistic demands. This is our truth.

There have been moments this past year when Jesus so gently has whispered to me ….this is why. This is why you needed to suffer. This is why your family had to be separated for so long. This is why you saw what you saw. This is why you needed to obey.

This past August we began the process of adopting our sweet boy stateside. Because he came from a country that grants guardianship with the intent of adoption, we wanted to begin the next process as soon as we were able to. We handed all of our paperwork and documents over to our lawyer who presented our case to the judge. On a beautiful day in Chicago we stood before a judge as a family of seven and knew without a doubt that this was the final step.

Yet three weeks later we received a phone call from our lawyer. The lawyer that was representing our son in the case was contesting the adoption. During the nine phone calls back and forth that Friday afternoon I felt like the floor was falling out from under me. Tim and I cried and prayed and set up a plan. We knew we could not share this information with our families. The past year had been a year of so much uncertainty and fighting for us, that we could not bear to put another burden on their shoulders. His lawyer was stating that with all of the publicity of child trafficking happening in Uganda our case would not be granted. She was certain that our case was the one that was going to help her “make a name” for herself. Our lawyer was furious. She had done her research . She knew our case backwards and forwards and knew that there was no room for argument. We continued to fall to our knees and just pray protection over our family.

In that moment Jesus again said….this is why.

This is why you were in Uganda for three months. This is why you waited so long for a passport. This is why I let you fall in love with the people of Uganda. This is why you saw others leave the country within weeks and had no idea why. This is why you were at the passport office watching as other “Christians” offered to pay off officials in order to “get out of there”. This is why, when you were asked to pay a significant person in the adoption for documents on your first week there, you immediately walked out of the room and never looked back. This is why you cried yourself to sleep at night after witnessing people tracking down officials and persuading them to do what they wanted, when they wanted. This is why you came home from Uganda knowing that you never gave a cent to anyone to obtain any part of the adoption. This is why you came home so angry and disappointed at what “Christians” will claim and do “ In the name of Christ”. This is why you lay awake at night so disappointed at what you saw unfold before you. This is why this story still brings you to tears and makes your blood boil. This is why when someone accuses you of anything illegal in your adoption you can hold your head high. This is why sweet girl. This moment. This moment is why. You obeyed. You may have had to be apart from the rest of your children for three months but this is why.

This moment when we knew we could go before the judge with a clear conscience and know all we did for Christ was obey.

This past Monday I came home from a weekend away to find a large envelope from our lawyer. In it was the final ruling of our judge. The judge had decided that what his lawyer was presenting held no merit.That our family was a family of seven. Our sweet boy is ours. Officially ours. Forever ours. This is why.


Ami said...

I have heard your heart on this. I pray that God will grant me grace to respect the process in Ecuador. To set aside my demands and desires and to trust His timing. And to enjoy the land my daughter was born in -- with her! :)

Robin Dodd Photography said...

Wow. So proud of you girl and all you guys have been through for your little guy!Wouldn't expect anything less. Can't wait to see you guys this FEB!!!

Baky Soumare said...

This is absolutely AMAZING sheli, What a lengthy and stressful process, but all worth it at the end. Very proud of you and your family!

Meadow Merrill said...

Wow! Having also adopted from Uganda (almost a decade ago, when very few Americans were), I can deeply empathize with your long wait and wanting to do things correctly. We never faced a situation like this, but we too felt the enormous burden to do everything "by the book" as the director of our daughter's orphanage insisted. Praise God for people who are willing to do what is right. Makes me think of T.S. Eliot, who wrote that the highest temptation was to do the "right thing for the wrong reason." If God's in it, he will always make a way!

Tim Boyd said...

Good job not giving in to the bribery that happened. We also didn't do it. I'm not sure if you would label me as a "christian" or a christian.

God may have specific callings for specific people.

Cyndy said...

I so hear your heart. We were probably among the first that sat at the Passport office just about two years ago refusing to "expedite" the process. Our file was "lost" at least twice and I'm pretty sure if we had greased the machine a little it would have been found quickly. But, like you, we knew we had our God to obey and trust. Psalm 37 and 2 Chron. 20:17 were the words God gave us to cling to. And like you when we hear accusations of wrong doing we know not only in our hearts but on paper that we did everything honestly. We were also appalled at the behavior of other Americans (many Christians)in court, at the passport office AND in front of Ugandan workers at the U.S. Embassy. I was so sickened one day sitting inside the Embassy (on those oh so comfortable copper chairs!) that I had to get up and go outside before I stood up and gave everyone in there a tongue lashing.