rough week

this week was a rough week in our house. our second oldest or as we call her kennedy has been sick for a long time. not like a week or two with a cough but more like 5 months with a cough. and to say that she is tired is an understatement. she comes home from school and wants to go to sleep and then she can be up all night. we were blessed though at the beginning of the year to have our insurance change and so we had more medical options available to her.
long story short we ended up at children's memorial this week with her for a series of tests. one which was for cystic fibrosis. the mama bear in me wanted to scream wait God i am not made for this. you can make me poor,send me to a third world country, make my marriage difficult but please dear Jesus do not let her be terminally sick. i am begging. on my knees begging.
so i sat in the waiting room of children's memorial and watched. watched little ones being wheeled around. watched little ones with newly lost hair sipping on their smoothies. watched parents fall asleep in the middle of a crowded room. watched parents argue back in forth trying with every ounce of their being to hold it together.
i sat there and thanked Him. i thanked Jesus that first we live in a country that the nearest doctor is a bus ride or car ride away. that we have medicine available to us. that we can be treated whether or not we have enough cash at the time. we have hospitals all over the country that specialize in different areas. that the doctors in this country are well educated and challenged to do better all the time. that we have parents who are on bringing their children to be seen and cared for.
i sat there and thanked Him.
we still don't have the answer for what is wrong with kennedy. but i do trust and expect that God does. He will take of her.
even on the rough weeks.