i haven't written in a while. i mean i write. i just write to myself. it's not that i don't love to write. it releases this energy in me that i can't quite explain. like when you are ready for christmas morning to arrive as a child. the eagerness in your chest and you can hardly wait to rush downstairs and tear through the presents. like that. and when i don't write i feel like a part of me isn't being honest. maybe not honest more like not all of me is present.
so i haven't been writing. not because i don't want to. because i do. i feel that eagerness in me all of the time. and when i stop writing then i just sit with the thoughts that run through my head all day or i push them away. i start ignoring the feeling. the excitement and anticipation gets put on hold.
i have stopped because i need to get thicker skin.i need to realize that not everyone is going to agree with what i write or what i believe to be true. i need to "put on my big girl pants" as my husband would say and just keep pushing through it. pushing threw the argument and the criticism. otherwise i wouldn't be a writer.
and writing is who i am.