it's been a trying summer for he and i. not arguing or fighting. more like pick up your legos and go to bed kind of trying. more like coming downstairs time after time after being tucked in and read four hundred books kind of trying. or mommy needs just a moment or maybe an hour without you holding on to my leg trying. so not difficult trying. just different than i am used to trying.
he has always been a compliant child. from the womb he listened to me. i said don't make me puke and he didn't. i said let me do yoga and he did. i said let me look cute prego and he did. even when he entered the world he did. he just nursed. slept. and smiled. that's it. not trying at all. i had once told friends that if i could guarantee that every child i would have would be this easy i would have so many more. but he proved to be the only calm child i had. and so when this summer things began to change i panicked.
was i spending too much time with him? was i spending not enough time with him? was i not engaging his mind enough? was he watching too much public television? were his sisters rubbing off on him?
so this summer has not been my easiest summer. many a day we spent in timeout or loosing our privileges because we couldn't follow instructions or be respectful. although we had many great sand in between our toes kind of days i felt overwhelmed at times just wanting to know who this child that was trying my every nerve.
and then this morning happened. first day of school.lunch packed. backpack ready. hair done. and redone. and then checked one more time in the mirror. and oh forgot to brush my teeth. and now ready. and then he asked me. he asked me to pray with him. to pray that he would have a great day at school. a day that he wouldn't be afraid. a day that he would be happy about it.
and i knew.
i knew that even with the trying days.
he still is my boy.