to say that i am grateful is an understatement. the out pouring of responses from my previous post has been a mixture of uplifting to heart retching. so many of you were encouraging and filled with love and compassion. my heart is filled. and i thank you.
the other group of responses though is what tore my heart out. it was the stories of “ this is my story” “thank you for telling my pain” “ i have felt like giving up so many times” “it spoke to me on many levels”. these had me on my knees .face to the floor.
months after we lost in the court system i happen to be at summer camp. one of the counselors at camp gave me the first verse i ever remembered. and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. romans 8:28 at the time i was so angry that she had told me this. i thought really? you are kidding me. God is going to use this for good? if there was a God he wouldn’t have let this happen. much less let me lead a life of such self destructiveness.even throughout that years in the moments of completely darkness. when i felt as if i couldn’t breathe or wouldn’t wake up i never thought back to that verse.
until the other day. when i received emails. phone calls. texts. comment after comment. of hurting. lonely. broken. forgiven. redeemed woman. asking. reaching. pulling for someone to listen. for someone to say that there is a healing God. a loving God. a redeeming God. that is when i knew. i knew that what happened to me. had to happen. and i was blessed enough to see why.