lately a side of myself has surfaced that i am a little afraid of. a little. and i am little proud of her too. whatever i should feel about this side of myself. she has been surfacing alot this past year.
its the " i'll kick your....if you mess with my friend again "side.
it first showed up back in winter when one of my dearest friends marriage was ripped wide open. i remember being so angry. like i wanted to dump chili all over the husbands car mad. ( i didn't). and i had it all worked out that i was going to tell him off the next time i saw him. ( i didn't do that either...grace).but i did feel and still do feel very protective of her. i wanted to be with her and guard her. warn her. love her. to be the protector.
and now that side of me continues to show up. i have another friend at the beginning of a divorce and i wanted to cover her with a blanket so she will stop getting pelted with hatred and disrespect. i want to kidnap her and hide her until it is all over. i want just five minutes alone with those that continue to peal away pieces of her soul.i makes me angry. it makes my stomach turn. it makes me feel helpless.
and then Jesus quietly reminds me. "I've got it. "
i know. i know i tell Him. but....
He again says." I've got them."
i know. i know. but...
and again. a little louder He says.
"Let go. I've got it. I 've got them."
and i take a step back and try to be more of the comforter and less of the protector.