we sat around the room catching up on our weekly events. whose kid is sick. who is pms(ing) (yes we talk about this). who can’t believe they have a child entering high school. all while drinking our breakfast or what you all call coffee. and then it came. the dreaded “ice- breaker” question. the one that make you squirm in your seat or suddenly have a phone call to take. so this weeks question…."what do you excel in?”
hmm…excel. well i am not sure. sarcasm um….of course. but anything that was significant or put a medal up on my shelf…nope.can’t think of anything. when i was younger i wanted to excel in many things piano, singing, being little orphan annie on broadway (a girl can dream…) , having amazingly long hair, beating my brothers in anything. i longed to be amazing at a sport. and oh did i try out for everything. i had two fantastically gifted brothers who exceeded expectations of athletic ability. me. not so much. when you run the wrong way on the basketball court….its kind of a sign you need to step away from the court.
of course i yearned to excel academically too. and with two sisters who were and are two of the most intelligent people i know. this brain didn’t hold a candle to them. i learned to be mediocre. to settle for ok. socially i would excel. maybe not in the healthiest ways but i could entertain and keep people laughing. but i never could measure up to who and what my siblings were.
didn’t answer the question that morning. i couldn’t. to me answering i thought meant that i was being prideful and arrogant. yet truthfully i couldn’t come up with anything.(i know this is whole other therapy session). yet all week this question has been bugging me. messing with me. so i changed it up a bit…. “what do i want to excel at?” that makes me feel more at ease. lets me think of it as an attainable goal rather than an already reached destination. so this is where i am….
-i want to excel at being present.
-i want to excel at giving.
-i want to excel at saying no. so i can say yes to God.
- i want to excel at being obedient .( this one I got from a friend….she already is.)( and she rocks it.)
- i want to excel at listening.
that is all i came up with so far. but it’s a start. and perhaps being little orphan annie was good for the girl i used to be. but not who i want to be.who He needs me to be.